deathsiren | Ic inbox

that might be for the best. maybe...

gee, how embarrassing. did i say anything silly?

i think i trusted that we'd get to this point and talk about it. and it didn't make me nervous.

you too. you're more than enough.

I'll get decaf of both and herbal tea!

Let me think here.

I think I like how comfortable but confident you are.

More butterflies.

i'd like to taste all the delicious drinks you have to offer!

oh, i did, didn't i? i said something silly.

well, you make me feel comfortable. and i like you! why would i be scared of us talking about that?

how many butterflies do you think there are?

I'll give you all the tastes you want.

It was cute.

Some are still afraid of it regardless.

It feels like at least a 100.

you spoil me a little, you know?

i have to think that pretty much anything silly would sound cute to you! would it have sounded cute to anyone else? or would it just be goofy?

i've been afraid in the past. of what people wanted or didn't want or because i didn't know what they wanted. i guess i feel at ease with you!

oh, at least! surely, at least a hundred.

you deserve it, you know?

It would have been cute to all!

I understand that. It can also be scary to put yourself out there.

To start with. More are coming in.

i'm not sure. do i? really?

it's hard to accept that, because i think you might be a little biased, but i'll try!!

that's true. someone might not feel the way you do or they might not understand your feelings...

they never seem to stop, do they? it's like a butterfly parade!

of course you do. You're special.

Everyone should accept your cuteness.

Or it's less to them than you.

Butterflies on parade or world tour.

since you say so, i think i believe it! and you're special too, ok?

i'm pretty sure your vision of me is kind of unique!

that's a painful experience. from what i know.

those butterflies must be racking up a lot of frequent flier miles!

You make me feel like I am.

I don't think you see yourself the way others do.

Incredibly painful.

Giving them more space to flap around.

i think that's my line.

i guess i rely on what people say. some are kinder than others?

it's something you've experienced?

and then they multiply more, don't they?! they're sneaky like that.

I mean it, though.

People say mean things to you?

Yes, more than a few times. I guess I get feelings too quickly.

Yes! Followed by a wider smile.

i know you do. thank you. it's very kind of you.

i've let people say some unkind things and not really stood up for myself.

you're not the only one. but i don't know if 'too quickly' is really... well, how can you measure that? too quickly for one person might not be for the next. i don't think it means something's wrong. especially not with YOU.

dimples!!!

Why do you think you didn't stand up for yourself or speak up at all?

I think there is kind of a universally accepted amount of time for most things. People can wiggle around with the time frame but usually there is something there. That apparently made me too fast with it.

I now know my secret weapon.

i think it was easier. i didn't exactly feel unhappy, so i could put those things out of my mind without worrying about them too much. i felt like it was better to just keep the peace.

ah, so it's about what other people were expecting of you?

that's one of them! i'm not sure if i should reveal the other so easily...

Dash, never let anyone try and tell you what or who you are. Not even now.

Kind of and I failed a lot I guess. Heard a lot of 'you're great but I don't feel that way about you.' basically, it's not you it's me. The worst.

I think you should tell me.

i'm trying to be better about it. as much as that's something you can try to do...

that's a crummy feeling. i'm sorry, sungmin. people really can be cruel. i'm sure some don't mean to be! but it still hurts.

i suspect you're going to use these things against me!

You can always say no when someone tries to define you like how they want.

It's okay. I've just found more calmness since then. Not so fanciful.

Oh Dashy, you enjoy it.

i'm a lot better at saying no recently. but... part of me still has trouble. i guess because i don't know how to argue with some people's perspective of me?

fanciful isn't bad, is it? it's ok to be a romantic. to hope for more.

well. maybe i do! but what do i get to use in return, hm?

If it isn't what you want that's enough!

Can there be a point of too romantic?

Scrunchy face smile. Your smirking. Your laugh.

couldn't that be selfish though?

with a person who loves you? i don't think so. i think you can occupy the space you want to occupy with a person like that.

you keep mentioning the smirking!

Not ever when it's what makes you feel good and okay.

I'll keep that in mind!

It needs to be mentioned. A lot. Frequently.

i'll have to think about it some more. there's a voice in my head that's just not sure.

you should! i mean, you deserve that. nothing less.

it's that impressive?

Your comfort matters most, Dash.

You deserve swept off your feet romance.

Yes! You seem incapable of such a look at first.

maybe i should write that on a poster in huge letters and put it somewhere i can easily see it every day.

can i sweep you off your feet, do you think?

i guess there's more to me than meets the eye! ... more than even i know, too.

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