deathsiren | Ic inbox

Why do you think you didn't stand up for yourself or speak up at all?

I think there is kind of a universally accepted amount of time for most things. People can wiggle around with the time frame but usually there is something there. That apparently made me too fast with it.

I now know my secret weapon.

i think it was easier. i didn't exactly feel unhappy, so i could put those things out of my mind without worrying about them too much. i felt like it was better to just keep the peace.

ah, so it's about what other people were expecting of you?

that's one of them! i'm not sure if i should reveal the other so easily...

Dash, never let anyone try and tell you what or who you are. Not even now.

Kind of and I failed a lot I guess. Heard a lot of 'you're great but I don't feel that way about you.' basically, it's not you it's me. The worst.

I think you should tell me.

i'm trying to be better about it. as much as that's something you can try to do...

that's a crummy feeling. i'm sorry, sungmin. people really can be cruel. i'm sure some don't mean to be! but it still hurts.

i suspect you're going to use these things against me!

You can always say no when someone tries to define you like how they want.

It's okay. I've just found more calmness since then. Not so fanciful.

Oh Dashy, you enjoy it.

i'm a lot better at saying no recently. but... part of me still has trouble. i guess because i don't know how to argue with some people's perspective of me?

fanciful isn't bad, is it? it's ok to be a romantic. to hope for more.

well. maybe i do! but what do i get to use in return, hm?

If it isn't what you want that's enough!

Can there be a point of too romantic?

Scrunchy face smile. Your smirking. Your laugh.

couldn't that be selfish though?

with a person who loves you? i don't think so. i think you can occupy the space you want to occupy with a person like that.

you keep mentioning the smirking!

Not ever when it's what makes you feel good and okay.

I'll keep that in mind!

It needs to be mentioned. A lot. Frequently.

i'll have to think about it some more. there's a voice in my head that's just not sure.

you should! i mean, you deserve that. nothing less.

it's that impressive?

Your comfort matters most, Dash.

You deserve swept off your feet romance.

Yes! You seem incapable of such a look at first.

maybe i should write that on a poster in huge letters and put it somewhere i can easily see it every day.

can i sweep you off your feet, do you think?

i guess there's more to me than meets the eye! ... more than even i know, too.

I'll make you a shirt with it. Nice and sparkly.

Dash, you already are. More and more everyday.

I think there's something to be said there. Someone who cares about you will always see you in a way you can't yourself. They see parts of you that you didn't even know existed.

oh! that's perfect! i'd wear it a lot.

hmmm, i think that's a new one for me. i'm not sure i've swept anyone off their feet before.

sungmin, have i told you how wise you are? you're very wise.

You flatter me, fashion stud.

I'm not sure I believe that. You're charming.

You think so? Must be because I'm old.

fashion stud? are we matching nicknames now, charming flirt?

no, it's really true. i think you make me feel as charming as i ever have, really.

you're not old! you're not.

I be got to keep up with you, dazzler.

Maybe you just needed the right time to bring it out.

I'm almost a hundred I think.

i think you're planning to give me a whole collection of nicknames. am i right?

i think i needed the right person.

well, technically my mother's as old as time and i guess i'm immortal, so i've lost a sense of what 'old' could even be...

I really am but I know your favorite, Dashy.

Okay that was so charming and sweet. The noise I just made.

Do you think about the immortal thing? That's. A lot isn't it?

i swear, that one's like magic! i blush every time.

it's only the truth, isn't it? also, tell me more about this noise!

i sort of try not to. i mean, i like to think of it as a good thing, mostly. more time to do what i love? but i know it's not totally that simple...

It makes me smile a lot.

It really feels like it. Kind of like a laugh, a gasp and a sigh all in one.

You're not really old enough to put it into actual perspective. Neither am I but that's true. You can do everything you want to.

i like to think of you smiling.

and i'm glad you feel that way, too. so, we're in sync? also, that noise sounds very, very cute.

no, i'm really not. which is maybe both good and scary. i guess i'll know better someday. and i shouldn't worry so much until then? maybe.

I'll send you a picture.

We are and have been for awhile. I'm sure you'll end up hearing it. You have me making a lot of sounds.

I think for now, there are other more important concerns.

i'll treasure it always!

haven't we? i thought so too, so i guess that's more proof that we are! when i read 'making a lot of sounds,' it seems a little suggestive.

you're right. i can't let thinking about some parts of this take over my thoughts.

Sent it!

It's nice to be on the same page with someone. Damn. I'm disappointed in myself. I didn't mean it suggestive.

What's wrong with me!

We can figure out basics first.

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